2023 ~ The Reflection

I was very close to skipping over a 'public' reflection for the year that was. It wasn't feeling very note-worthy or significant compared to the previous years.

As an achiever, I even experienced a brief moment of disappointment and guilt. Why didn’t I make more of that year? Why didn’t I push more, strive more, make more happen?

Initially, 2023 looked to have flown past in a flurry of day-to-day life. Looking back, all I saw was a blur of kid chaos, pickups, drop offs, ALL the snacks and juggling 20 balls at all times, trying desperately not to let one drop. Did anything extraordinary happen? Did I do anything other than simply survive? 

But in a quiet moment, making my first coffee for the year, (on Day 1 of my cycle), I realised that right there, amongst it all lay the revelation. For the first time in, I can’t even remember, we had simply ‘lived’. 

There was no upcoming pregnancy or birth, no house move, no promotion at work, no course to complete, no virus to disrupt, no wedding, engagement or even holiday to plan for, for the first time in a decade! 2023 was simply living life, day to day. Just ‘being’. Exhale.

2023 was a ‘coming down’ from years in fight or flight, in hustle mode, in pushing, in gaining. It was the transition from one life chapter to the next. It was a foundation-laying, recuperating, recovery year.

And then as I deepened my reflection, there popped up all the achievements. Many. Sometimes daily. Some big ones and many beautiful, small ones. Internal ones. Soul-changing ones, that aren’t always visible or as shiny from the outside.

The lesson being, it’s not just the big, statement moments that define a ‘successful’ year, or life, or person. Sometimes it’s the lollypop steps that no one else sees, that end up having the greatest impact.

And also a wonderful reminder of why reflections are SO important ahead of planning a new year.

So what did 2023 look like?

January kicked-off hosting my first The Bloome Co vision board workshops both in-person and virtual and building and launching my website. Literally a dream come true.

In February our last baby turned one. She learnt to walk, and as the year went by, through her, we had many ‘lasts’. The last co-sleep, the last feed, the last rear-facing car trip, the last of the baby clothes, the baby seat in the highchair, the removal of the baby gates, my cycle and period ‘returning’ for the last time. 

Those universal glimmers of bittersweet freedom as you wave a sad goodbye to one precious moment, to skip into the new possibilities of the next.

I worked hard to get into my groove as a stay-at-home Mum, now that I was moving out of the baby stage. Putting my strategic skills to work, creating and refining rhythm and routine to help our busy life flow as smoothly as possible. To move towards thriving, not just surviving. From finances, to meal planning, morning and nighttime routines and curating the resources and environments required to do that. 

In March we bought into a 600 acre regenerative farm with a community of people working to create a self-sustaining and prosperous food-producing, recreation and education hub! 

An investment in our family’s future health with plans underway for an established organic produce co-op and now a place to take our kids to play, stay and learn in nature. Literally all my values rolled into one, incredible, ongoing opportunity. 

Autumn and winter I really slowed down and spent quite a lot of time hermiting. Tending to my own veggie garden, reading books, crafting special keepsakes for my children, created ‘Friyay Funday’ to ensure I consciously soaked up every moment I had of Miss 5 at home, before she started school. 

This quiet period gave me time to consider what I now needed to ensure I could be the best version of myself. For myself first and foremost, and then spilling into everyone else. 

It was a period of establishing personal habits. From daily cold showers, celery juices, 5am wake ups and earlier bedtimes. 

I was reconnecting with my physical body after four pregnancies and births in five years. I got back into running, igniting an enjoyment I hadn’t experienced before. Creating little goals to keep me motivated and excited to jump out of bed on those wet, dark mornings. I’ve come to realise that 5.15am chats with a good friend through the streets of our town is honestly so therapeutic! It brought more joy than I could ever have imagined.

During this time I also walked across hot coals at Tony Robbins and completed two fun runs, clocking my fastest times yet.

It took four babies to conquer breastfeeding. My third (and only full-term) baby weaned himself at eight weeks, it was a traumatic Mama blow amidst lockdowns with no support. 

Mid-Spring 2023, tears fell down my cheeks as I rocked my 21 month old to sleep, boob tucked away for the first time. Proud of myself, of us, of the journey. Grateful I finally got the chance to fully experience this sacred Mama act with my precious, final baby. Sad it was now over, but also ready.

Come September I found myself signing up to our local Athletics Club. I spent the last few months of 2023, competing with a whole new community of people, revisiting an old passion from my teenage years and loving the freedom and gratitude of a well and strong body, excited for what I could challenge it to do next. 

October, I clocked over to the final year of my thirties. I spent a lot of time working through and healing some deep, dark wounds that I hadn’t realised had been hiding in a corner of my soul for quite some time. 

I feel like the timing was right to again be laying compassionate and strong foundations for this next chapter to come. Ensuring that all parts of me were ready as I stand on the precipice of this next phase. I reignited my yoga practice, got back into writing, and took myself on solo dates to the ballet and the cinema. I prioritised self-care and filling my cup whenever I could. 

The end of 2023 was working to hold onto presence and softness amidst a flurry of festive, end-of-year activities and making sure everything was just perfect for a memorable family Christmas. 

I got to spend time with my brother and sister-in-law visiting from Tassie, enjoyed family time and home support with Hubby on a break from work for the first time all year, and just generally soaking up the joy and magic of Christmas with small children. 

I closed 2023 with so much gratitude. So much thanks for the unexpected, internal journey this year took me on. The slowness to acknowledge and appreciate everything around me. To be granted this opportunity to be home with my babies full time, to soak them up while they’re little. 

To create the time for me, to rediscover what lights me up and what I need to be the best version of me.

A reminder that dedication, self-compassion and prioritising yourself above all else is enough and even though I'm turning 40 this year, I've only just started. Let's go 2024!